


Getting Comfy, Getting Perfect

by stardustedknuckles



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Canon Divergent, Canon Timeline, F/F, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Trans Character, With A Dash of Porn, but mostly wholesome, navigating a new relationship you know, practical handjob (fade to black), trans terms for anatomy, trans yasha
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-11
Updated: 2021-02-11
Packaged: 2021-03-17 07:27:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,129
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29346600
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stardustedknuckles/pseuds/stardustedknuckles
Summary: They're new to this relationship and mostly things are the same as they were before, but the negotiations that go into making those changes together look different for everyone - Beau and Yasha included.
Relationships: Beauregard Lionett/Yasha
Comments: 20
Kudos: 150





	Getting Comfy, Getting Perfect

**Author's Note:**

> Be the rep you want to see, whether that's trans, aspec, neurodivergent, or lovable doofus.

"Stop wiggling, Yash."

Yasha did not stop wiggling, but she at least slowed enough that Beau could get a grip on the piece of tooth (badass) wedged inside the gash over her ribs. Beau held the sliver of bone up for Yasha to see from her position mostly flat on the floor of her room before tossing it aside. "Big baby," she teased.

Yasha didn't reply, just pursed her lips and looked at Beau. And Beau was no mind reader, but between Yasha's inability to conceal much and her own attention to detail, she had a pretty good bead on the flavor of the mood - if not the source.

"Hey," she said softly. "What's got you worked up?" She rested her hand casually on Yasha's hip and startled when she flinched.

"Sorry," Yasha murmured. "Was that…all of it?"

Beau frowned. "I mean you're still a mess, let me clean you up at least. Did I touch another wound on accident?" She hovered her hand over the spot that had made her jump.

That pained expression deepened as Yasha shook her head. "I can take care of the rest," she said quietly. "Thank you for helping me."

Beau knew a dismissal when she heard one, but she also knew Yasha and they had patched each other up enough times that she knew it had nothing to do with the fact that she was topless so Beau could work. "What's wrong?" She asked again. "I'm the one who gets all grumpy when I need bandages, not you."

Yasha inhaled and closed her eyes. "I'm sorry for being…grumpy," she said. "I just…um…" Beau knew whatever was coming next was a lie because this was her lying face, but she just raised an eyebrow and waited. "I'm embarrassed about getting hurt?"

Beau made a flat expression and waited for Yasha to open her eyes before saying, "Even if I didn't already know that's bullshit, that's bullshit." Yasha huffed but not at her, and Beau touched her hip - her other hip - gently. "You can tell me," she said. "Wait, did I do something? During the fight?"

Yasha sighed, defeated. She wouldn't let Beau even entertain the possibility she'd done something if she hadn't. "No, nothing like what you're thinking. Nothing wrong."

Beau grinned with more confidence and less relief than she felt. "You know it. The way I smash monster heads is _oh so_ right."

This pulled a reluctant smile from Yasha, which Beau could just barely make out beneath the heels of her bloody and dirty hands as they covered her face.

"Hey, give me those." Beau reached and Yasha let her take them one by one in her lap and clean them with the rag and the bowl of hot water dipped from the tub. From there she began to gently wipe away the blood left behind by the scratches and scrapes of the day, and Yasha didn't stop her.

She stayed quiet as Beau worked her way down and when she reached the hard plane of Yasha's abs, she squirmed under Beau's hands with a sharp intake of breath. Beau glanced over her again, and this time it clicked. It wasn't that Beau hadn't already noticed the fact of Yasha's hardness - not an easy thing to hide at close distance, under leather, even if you didn't happen to be Beau - but that was a natural consequence of being touched that Beau had never paid any real mind to.

Yasha seeming uncomfortable about it, though. That was new. And she was uncomfortable about it, because when Beau looked from the contour of Yasha's clit to her face, she was watching Beau with an expression she hadn't seen in a long time: guilt.

In her defense, Beau did spend a moment looking for a gentle way to ask. "Aaaare you seriously sweating a stiffy after I just rubbed you down with a towel?"

Yasha's face turned pink to the tips of her ears. Whoops.

"Okay, so you are. What's the matter?"

Yasha mumbled something that couldn't have had many real words in it, or Beau would have heard them. "It's different now," she said more clearly at Beau's blank look. "We're…together. Going slow." She gestured vaguely towards her crotch. "I don't want you to think I'm. Pressuring you or anything."

"Okay," said Beau slowly. "This has happened a million times though. Why would this time be any different?"

"It's different for me," Yasha said quietly. "Not so involuntary. And…more."

Beau resisted the urge to look and kept her eyes on Yasha's face and chest. "There's no way I would know that," she said. "And even if I did somehow figure it out, I mean. Look at me. Obviously." She scoffed for effect and earned an exasperated huff, if not a real smile.

"I'm looking, believe me."

Beau's mouth dried a little at that, but she forged on. "I can leave if you want. Wait for you outside or just catch up with you when you come down for dinner. I know it can't feel good. Well. You know what I mean."

"That might be best," Yasha said slowly.

There was an invisible ellipses there. "But you don't want me to."

Yasha's eyes dropped. "Like I said, different."

Beau shrugged. "So let me take care of it for you."

That was clearly the suggestion Yasha had been both dreading and kind of wanting. Beau snuck a look. Very wanting. "I'm not…ready."

"Yash, I don't mean to be crass, but -"

"Not that kind of ready." Yasha swatted a hand vaguely. "I mean we're working together on…all of the rest of it. Going slow."

"And you think a friendly handjob means…"

Her face twisted. "I think I would like it too much to be a friendly handjob," said Yasha. "I don't want to get too close too fast."

Beau leaned forward to rest her chin in her hand. "You don't want to feel too close, or you don't want me thinking you're too close?"

An annoyed snort. "Why are you easiest to talk to when I'm struggling?" Beau waited. Deflection was a language she spoke too well to fall for, and Yasha only riled up as a last resort. She stared Beau down for a moment and sighed. "I don't want to change anything between us. I mean I do, that's what we're doing, but. Ugh."

"Yasha," said Beau. "You are way overthinking this. _Please_ take it from me." Yasha glanced up at her. "You and I are both old hat at casual encounters," Beau said. "This would be that."

"But we're not casual." Yasha rubbed the back of her neck. "And I don't want us to be."

Neither did Beau. "Clarification: this is casual. We are not." Beau ran her tongue over her teeth. "Huh. That was weirdly easy to say. I didn't explode or anything."

She smiled a little at Yasha's nervous laugh and thanked her lucky stars for being granted the contrary nature that allowed her to know how to handle herself - provided, of course, that there was someone more anxious than her in a given situation. 

"Look. Here are your options," Beau began. "I can leave and you can spend twenty minutes trying to relax enough to take care of it, or you can let me handle it in five and we can be on time for dinner. Nothing changes either way." She paused. "For me."

Yasha rolled her head so she was staring up at the ceiling. "It wouldn't change anything for me either. I mean maybe it would have, once, but it's not me I'm worried about."

Now Beau chuckled - she couldn't help it. "Sorry," she said when Yasha squinted at her. "I just can't believe you're actually worried _I'll_ throw myself too fast into feelings. Like on purpose."

Yasha's expression held for another second before cracking into a reluctant smile. "Well when you put it that way…"

Beau grinned. "I would be delighted if you let me put my hands on you," she said. "That's not gonna change, like. I'm still gonna trip over my own words and drip soup down my shirt when you ask me a question at dinner."

Yasha's smile was softer now. "Good."

Beau nodded. "Good." She shifted around so that she was cross-legged with one knee touching Yasha's and one resting against her ribs. After an awkward moment of positioning, Yasha gave up trying to put her arm behind her head and let it rest in Beau's lap.

Beau reached for the lacing of Yasha's pants and stopped just above, watching her girlfriend for signs of discomfort. Yasha looked a little anxious, but that seemed pretty reasonable. Just in case, she waited for Yasha's nod before pulling the cord free with ease.

Yasha had not been exaggerating - Beau was pretty sure she'd never seen her quite so hard. She kept her comments to herself and reached for the bath oil on the bench behind her. It smelled like spring and pooled like thin honey in her palm, and she gently shook the excess onto Yasha's length before taking her fully in her hand and pumping once, slowly.

Yasha sucked in a breath as one of her knees bent straight up and her other leg rolled reflexively open, and when Beau checked in it was to find her staring raptly at her cunt in Beau's hand, breathing gone slightly shallow.

Beau was completely serious about this changing nothing for her - as far as she was concerned, this was just a preview of what their actual first time might entail. She didn't tell Yasha how beautiful she looked or how honored she was to be allowed to do this, kept her thoughts about divinity and worship to herself. Beau just took Yasha's hand in her lap and held it, lacing their fingers together, and started up a firm, gentle rhythm.

* * *

"Thank you," Yasha said when her breathing had evened back out. Beau wiped her hand on the warm rag and did her level best to look like someone who was not in fact unraveling at the sight and the sound and the feel of her girlfriend coming at - and on - her hand.

"No problem." She handed the rag off to Yasha when she sat up and dropped it too soon, because of course.

Yasha picked it up and looked at her, some trace of amusement in her eyes. "You okay?"

She was definitely asking if Beau had gotten more than she bargained for, which wasn't a question at all. "That was fucking hot," Beau replied truthfully. "But yeah. I'm good. Gonna need new underwear though, full disclosure."

Yasha tucked herself back inside, chuckling softly. "I had no misunderstanding about how that would affect you." She finished lacing and reached for her shirt. "I would be concerned if you took that straight faced."

"My face is never straight," Beau said automatically.

She heard Yasha laughing as she found her way into her top. "Yeah, you're fine."

"Damn right." She met Yasha's quick kiss eagerly and took her hand as they both pulled themselves up and got ready to go downstairs.

"It's so nice to be able to think again," Yasha commented. "You were right - I would have been late."

Beau grinned. "Here for you, babe."

Amazingly, Yasha's cheeks flushed slightly. Even more incredibly, so did Beau's.

"I didn't guess you the type," said Yasha.

"Yeah well." Beau waved a hand. "I'm full of surprises."

Yasha smiled shyly and gestured for the door. "Shall we?"

"Yep." she took Yasha's offered hand and they made it all the way to the outermost door before the contact clicked for either of them.

They glanced at each other and back at their hands.

"That's new," said Beau.

A pause. "I like it though," said Yasha.

"Yeah. Me too." Beau followed her out into the round lip and they watched the iris spiral open below. Beau's mind was calming by degrees, but the hand she'd used on Yasha still smelled like the oil and she found herself flexing her fingers unconsciously.

She looked up to find Yasha watching her. "All good?"

"Still good with slow," Beau agreed. "But." Yasha raised an eyebrow. "A little acceleration seems pretty on brand, don't you think?"

Yasha glanced again at their hands. "I'm still comfortable."

Beau nodded. "Dinner and then you sit with me in the library while I go over some notes?"

"That sounds nice." Yasha hesitated. "Do you…maybe feel up to sharing a couch?"

Beau put on her best mock serious voice. "Wow, Yash, I'm not so sure. That's months ahead of schedule. I mean we might as well share a blanket while we're at it."

Yasha giggled quietly, a gratifying sound. "Perfect."

And it was.

**Author's Note:**

> Me since I got into this fandom: Give me all the trans Beauyasha  
> Me today: *rolls up sleeves* alright let's go


End file.
